Stalemate

Since my last post, we've had a very interesting meeting with social devices. Unfortunately it was clear that the CWDS are stuck firmly in their belief that we are failing James, an accusation I find insulting, upsetting and unfounded. Their claim that we fail to integrate James into our family couldn't be further from the truth, in fact, every single aspect of our life revolves around James - what time we get up, what food we eat, where we can (and can't) visit, which friends can visit and when, what car we drive, when we wash a load of clothes... Whether James is at home or not, every decision I make (including the timing of loo visits!) is dictated by him. When asked to back up their accusation they used a very poor example that just shows how they have failed to understand James and his level of disability and the impact it has on the whole family. The last time a social worker visited our house it was our carer's birthday. Bea decided to make a card for her and wrote in the card and signed it herself. Apparently when I was asked whether James would write his name I replied that that wasn't appropriate as he couldn't hold a pencil let alone sign his name. Apparently this shows how we don't integrate him into our lives. I sat wide mouthed and stunned. They would rather I had forced him to write in the card, hand over hand against his will? I didn't make Edith sign the card and her functional level is around the same as his...
Other parts of the discussion were equally distressing. Their minutes from our last meeting are inaccurate and full of omissions, so I'm glad we took our own advocate to take notes. She happens to know James very well so could back us up on our views about James. There was some recognition that we struggle to care for James, two younger children and ourselves but no offer of further help or assistance. It has been over three months since I requested a review of James' care package and nothing has changed. We're locked in a stalemate with the very people who are supposed to be helping us.
The time has come to get tough. I'm not going to throw the game, however much I'd like to, but I am going to get the big players involved. Local news. Local government. London mayor. Local MP. I will not be bullied. I will fight tooth and nail for my son and myself. I only wish I was not dealing with a disinterested government and a hidden disability...