What a difference a week makes...

This time last week I was parking my car.
This time last week I was happy and excited.
This time last week I was waiting to see my baby for the first time.
This time last week I told my daughter we were going to see her new baby brother or sister.
This time last week my future was bright, full of hope and promises.
This time last week I felt lucky.
This time last week I had never felt this sort of pain.
This time last week I didn't know....

This time this week I feel more alone than I ever have.
This time this week I can't imagine tomorrow, let alone my future.
This time this week I wish the outcome had been different.
This time this week I am broken, in agony and scared I'll never lift myself out of this gaping hole.
This time this week I feel so guilty for watching Bea watching me go through this.
This time this week I am holding my ill daughter, mourning for my dead baby and it just doesn't seem fair.
This time this week I am counting down the minutes to the moment when I saw the scan and knew what I was facing.
This time this week I feel the loss more acutely than this time last week.