Always expect the unexpected

James constantly amazes me, I find myself in awe of all he does and achieves in spite of his disability. He drives me to distraction too, but that's children for you!

Last week my parents came to visit. They haven't been here for nearly 3 months, which is a long time when you're only 5, and could well be long enough for James to forget them entirely. After all, he's not with them that frequently, so their bond is one that perhaps doesn't come naturally. In addition, both my parents find James difficult to deal with - they love him unconditionally, and try to engage with him, but there comes a point when you stop trying. They're not there, by any means, but the lack of reciprocity gets tiresome and you feel like you've explored all avenues. I often go through periods where I am less focussed in my efforts to engage with James, usually coinciding with periods where I feel overwhelmed, depressed and miserable. I actually need to be making all this effort, because every now and again he surprises me, and it's then that I can reap the rewards for my efforts.

My parents arrival was one of those moments - the minute the doorbell went, he ran there, helped me open the door and how I wish I had had a camera the moment he saw my parents through the glass door. His face lit up, he started grinning from ear to ear, and kept chanting "Nene, Dede, Nene, Dede, hello, hello, hello!". He was like a wind up doll, except he kept on going. He climbed all over my father, demanding hugs and smiling and stroking his face. He was very affectionate with my mother too, which made her day (historically, he has always been more free with affection towards my father, so this was very touching for my mum). He does make strong bonds, and other people really are important to him. So I am bolstered in my efforts and will keep doing all I need to do to support James and help him progress.

Another "unexpected" moment came when we were at Thames Valley Adventure Playground on Saturday. As we were getting ready to leave, I gave James his coat, slightly absent mindedly. I haven't ever seen him put a coat on without help, so you can imagine my surprise when he took it, looked at it carefully, worked out which arm to put in first, hooked it over his shoulders and popped his other arm in! Wow....

So always expect the unexpected, without that you will miss many an opportunity.